Oh My God, What a Complete Aisling by Emer McLysaght & Sarah Breen

Author:Emer McLysaght & Sarah Breen
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781405938211
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2018-03-22T00:00:00+00:00

20

‘Is everything all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ By the time I get back to the table, all the confidence I’d built up over the course of the evening, thanks to Sadhbh and her precision eyeliner and to Barry and the way he kept touching my leg as he was talking to me, has dissolved and I feel like an imposter in jeans that I have no business wearing. John has moved on. Moved on ‘too’. John’s with someone else.

‘What? Oh, yeah, sorry, Barry,’ I stammer, lowering myself slowly onto the stool. ‘I’m not feeling great.’ I push the bottle of West Coast Cooler into the middle of the table for dramatic effect. ‘One too many of those. I think I need some fresh air.’

‘We’re outside, Aisling,’ he laughs, taking a gulp of his pint.

‘We are. Of course we are. But everyone is smoking – I can’t catch my breath. I have to go.’ I look at my watch – 11.40 – a respectable time to call it a night.

‘Cool.’ He looks momentarily awkward and then peeps out at me from under slightly devilish eyebrows. ‘Will we go back to your place for a nightcap so?’

‘What? No. I mean, not tonight. I have to go on my own. I’m sick, like.’

He looks crestfallen and I immediately feel a bit guilty. It must have been the flirting – he thought we were going to go off and do the deed. No one waits until the third date now – Majella told me several times over the past week. And she’d certainly know. But I’m a little bit annoyed that he just assumed we were going to jump into the sack after one date.

‘Oh right, sorry, I must have gotten the wrong end of the stick. Sorry, Ais. I know you’re a good girl,’ he smiles.

‘Honestly, Barry, I’m really not feeling well. I was actually three sheets to the wind when I got here. It’s the weather – the girls won’t stop buying rosé and making me drink it.’

His smile widens and he just shakes his head, taking out his phone and doing some elaborate scrolling.

‘No problem, Ais. Some of the lads are over in Whelan’s so I’ll head over there. Will you be all right getting a taxi? I don’t want to miss them.’

‘Oh. OK.’

‘See you Monday. Feel better soon.’

And with a quick peck on the cheek, he’s gone, just like that, weaving his way out of the terrace and off into the night. I decide to pop to the ladies’ to make sure he has a good head-start. Can’t risk him seeing me in the chipper down the road, because that’s absolutely where I’m headed now to eat my feelings. Thirty-two Points in a bag of chipper chips – but at this very moment in time, I couldn’t give a shite.

I’m just about to leave when someone taps me on the shoulder and I swing around. It’s Piotr looking … concerned.

‘Aisling, are you all right? I saw your man leave alone and wanted to check.

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